fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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