i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
