so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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