Where did you get a picture of my penis
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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