My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize