She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
