Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
