You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My hand turned me down
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
