chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My life is pants optional.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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