yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
