So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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