I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
