i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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