he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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