But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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