its not stalking. its research.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
