his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
