adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
