I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize