I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I will die if light touches me.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
