We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
