C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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