I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
