Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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