i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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