508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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