Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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