I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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