It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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