they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
