so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you never un-have a 4some
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
