she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize