I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
