Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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