so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
