She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
