His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize