Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
