I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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