Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Where is the hickey?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
