I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
soo... how was my night?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
