I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize