dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
