Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
