Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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