i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
