once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
