every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
