My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just google imaged poop.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize