onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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