Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
