I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
