I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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