I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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