So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
that is very illegal...i love you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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