you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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